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Sunday 20 December 2009

At last, the new arrival

He's here! My beautiful baby boy was born on Friday 18th December, 3 days overdue. I'll be back with the full story a little later. Right now everything is a haze and I'm exhausted like I've never been before. But we still find time during waking hours to gaze adoringly at him, he's amazing!

Tuesday 15 December 2009

Fully cooked

Today is my due date. My bun is officially cooked! No sign of him making an appearance yet though, so I guess he still needs a little browning off. Hope it won't be too long though, I'm getting impatient now. I didn't really expect to make it to this day.

I've been getting some early nigglings...I think. It's weird because I'm really not sure what to watch out for, having never done this before. I had a midwife appointment yesterday and she seemed to think it was all heading in the right direction. I've been getting some cramps and tightenings and I'm never sure if that's early contractions. Somehow I didn't expect them to be quite so low down. They're getting more frequent but not regular enough yet. She said that's what I will be looking out for but they need to get regular and (sorry) more painful. I've also had a bit of backache here and there which I know is part of the package. So let's hope it's not too much longer. I could do with no longer being pregnant by the end of this week!

Off to bounce on my birthing ball. Then some walking. Maybe a curry and some bedroom shenanigans later. Anything to help nudge him towards the exit!!

Friday 11 December 2009

Approaching d-day

I'm due next Tuesday, and feeling kind of strange about it. It's just this bizarre waiting game. I had several friends due around the same time and most have had their babies already, including the one person due after me. I think there are just three of us left, one due tomorrow and the other overdue from Wednesday. I feel like I will be the last. The nice thing is you get some great advice, but you do also have to hear a few scary stories!

Right now I'm feeling weird about it. For a couple of weeks now I have felt like I am really over being this tired and huge, and everything is ready and waiting and I feel really ready to meet my baby so I was getting impatient. But over this last week I have wanted him to hold off for a little longer. At the eleventh hour of my pregnancy I have started to feel like I'll miss my bump and also feeling my baby move inside me. Right now it's just him and me and I want to protect him, even though I of course can't wait to meet him and hold him. I've also had a stressful week and hardly slept so I don't feel strong enough to go through labour if he decides he's ready now.

We'll see. Hopefully things will start to happen next week and he won't wait too long.

Friday 4 December 2009

GBS

So, as mentioned earlier, I tested positive for Group B Strep. I talked to the midwife about it at my 38 week appointment yesterday and it looks like I will be receiving IV antibiotics during labour. This is apparently standard procedure and pretty straightforward but it worries me that my baby will be getting antibiotics on entering the world. I don't know what to make of it. The midwife said it's a case of weighing up the benefits of it, and if I don't get the drugs and the baby does become sick as a result of GBS it could be pretty serious so it's worth it. I do see that. I'm just bummed.

On a more positive note, it looks like he is 4/5 engaged so he doesn't have much further to drop before he is fully in position. I'm also getting some cramps and a lot more frequent and regular Braxton Hicks so it looks as if we're heading in the right direction. Sleep and comfort are officially a thing of the past now so I'll be really ready for him to make an appearance by end of next week if not before. Not that I'm naive enough to think sleep and comfort will return after having a baby!!

Immodesty

The thing that has both surprised and amused me most about being pregnant is the lack of modesty that comes with it. It starts off slow and increases until by the end of pregnancy you no longer give a damn! Now, I have always been a little bit of a shy and modest girl. Don't get me wrong, I'm no prude but I am the kind of girl who likes dim lighting and turns her back to get undressed. Now I find myself not caring about letting it all hang out!

I've heard stories from friends of mine who were mortified after their deliveries to hear from their other halves that they threw off their clothes in the middle of labour and spent hours panting naked, and about the sheer amount of people who enter the room and have a good peak at your nether regions during birth. I guess this is the norm and you spend those few months of your pregnancy building up to that.

It's not just nudity either, there's also the bodily functions. Nobody warned me about the sounds I would be making all through pregnancy. I have never been a burping or farting kind of girl. Burping was a largely silently into my hand sort of affair after a gassy can of Diet Coke. Farting was rare and my husband always suspected I was shy and did it privately but that wasn't true, I just didn't do it much. It was kind of a shock to find myself emitting these sounds all of a sudden but once I (quickly) got over the shock and initial embarrassment of it, I have embraced it, and with glee! I have found myself making sounds that could sink a battleship and laughing over it rather than being mortified, and what's more, if I'm honest I'm kind of impressed with myself!! Luckily, Hubby finds it very amusing!

But anyway, if nothing else this lack of modesty is probably good preparation for labour and birth. I'm sure it's nature's way of helping us get through it. I for one am embracing it, it's strangely liberating!

Tuesday 1 December 2009

It's never ending!

It seems like it's one drama after another. I just want to get on with my pregnancy in peace and hope for a safe and reasonably uncomplicated delivery resulting in a healthy and happy baby. Is that too much to ask?

"What now?", I hear you ask. Well, I tested positive for Strep B (GBS). I don't know about elsewhere but in the UK they don't test routinely for it, I only did the test because a friend told me about it. They did do a swab test for me at the hospital but were very honest about it being not totally reliable, so I paid to have a lab test done. This came back positive and I will have to discuss the implications of this with the midwife at my 38 week appointment on Thursday. What a drag. As I understand it, I may have to be given antibiotics during labour to avoid the potentially threatening infection passing to the baby. Not all babies are affected by the infection but it is potentially very serious for those who are. The worry about antibiotics is that they may affect either of us following the delivery so it is a case of weighing it up. I'm feeling really confused and anxious about it so I'll see what the midwife says before taking any next steps.

What a drag!

Monday 30 November 2009

Post pregnancy clothing

Because I have a tendency to obsessively over-prepare, I went shopping today for all the last bits and pieces I need for the new arrival and for me for post-arrival. Mainly nursing bras, but I thought I'd throw in a couple of nursing tops too as I can't imagine I would feel like shopping for them by the time I'd need them. The selection available in both Mothercare and H&M were disappointingly uninspiring (as are the selections I've seen available from the online stores). And even more bizarre, I noticed most of them seemed to be in horizontal stripes. Now why is that? Does it seem ironic to anyone else that the majority of nursing tops are in the most unflattering pattern possible, for a target market most likely to be feeling the least confident about their body shapes they have ever felt?! Strange indeed.

Well, here is what I ended up with. 2 stripes and 2 plain.
I guess I'll have to play around with my existing wardrobe and try to figure out ways to be creative with what I already have.

Friday 27 November 2009

DVT scare

Maternity leave got off to a dramatic start. I ended up in A&E (the ER to my American friends) with suspected Deep Vein Thrombosis. The first day of leave was actually my birthday and that evening my left leg started to swell up and hurt around the knee and lower thigh area. By the time we were coming home from dinner I could barely walk on it. I think Hubby thought I was just maximising the birthday experience and wanting to be spoiled as much as possible when I asked if we could take a cab to and from the restaurant!

I thought I'd sleep on it and maybe it would right itself by the morning if I had it elevated for a while, but it was no better the next day so I called the midwife who told me to come in to the hospital. As it was a weekend they decided A&E was the best place to go. After the initial assessment, an ECG and a long wait to see a doctor, they suspected DVT and gave me a blood thinner by injection. I had to go back the next day for another, and then back on Monday to get an ultrasound on the leg and a follow up with the results. I was pretty freaked out by it all. I presumed having to have anti-coagulant injections daily is not only inconvenient, it would have serious implications for my delivery. So I spent two days worrying about it. Thankfully it was a happy ending. The ultrasound was done and they couldn't find a clot so it was just a false alarm. I can't tell you how relieved I was. I had a follow up with an A&E doctor after the results were posted and he said it looked like it was inflammation of the knee, exacerbated by all the extra fluid and weight gain from this stage of pregnancy. He ordered me to take it easier than I have been and stay off the leg as much as possible, and just generally relax more. Good advice indeed!

Wednesday 25 November 2009

Re-thinking the birth plan

I had some disappointing news from the midwife at my last checkup. Because my BMI is higher than it should be I won't be able to have my baby in the Birthing Centre as I'd planned, I'll have to go to the regular Delivery Suite. I am only just over the limit by one point so I kind of feel like it's unfair. It's a new hospital policy they have because of an incident they had recently where a very obese woman had complications during her labour and had trouble being transferred because of her weight. I'm not that heavy and I haven't gained a hideous amount of weight during my pregnancy so again I feel it's unfair, but I do also understand that they have to have one rule for everyone.

I'm annoyed at myself for being overweight too. I was somewhere in the high 160s before I got pregnant. Here they take your height and weight readings and calculate your BMI at the start of your pregnancy and then don't weigh you during pregnancy. I asked my GP why and she explained it can cause women to worry too much about gaining weight and they shouldn't during pregnancy, so it's to avoid people obsessing about it. She said as long as you are eating healthy for one and not gaining too much weight then they don't want us to worry about the numbers. That made sense to me and I was grateful for it but now I wonder if they did things differently would I not be in this situation.

After the initial disappointment I'm doing fine about it. I can still have the active, midwife-led birth that I want without medical intervention unless required, but if I do decide to ask for an epidural I won't need to be transferred. Lately I've been worrying a little about labour and getting more and more nervous so maybe it's a bit of a blessing in disguise.

That was the first antenatal appointment I've had where I came away not feeling good and positive. This midwife was scary! She also quizzed me on the signs of labour in a kind of aggressive and teachery way and then sent me home with reading material. It felt like school! I answered her questions right though, so I guess I've been paying attention. And then when I got home I asked Hubby and did even better than me, having memorised how frequent and regular contractions should be (I just vaguely said regular and frequent!), so I am pretty impressed with him right now!

Thursday 12 November 2009

Lady and bump of leisure

As of about 2 hours ago I am officially on maternity leave. Hurrah!! I am very excited about being free of work responsibilities and being able to put my feet up and rest a little before my big life change. There's stuff to do at home but it doesn't seem so daunting now.

All of my NCT group are either mothers already, on leave already or about to begin leave, so we are having our next get together over lunch next week. It'll be nice to be ladies who lunch, if only for a short while.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Wednesday 4 November 2009

Growth scan

I was 34 weeks yesterday and had a growth scan to check how the little guy is doing. Scans always make me anxious, there's always that little niggling worry about finding something wrong. But I was fretting about nothing. So far he seems to be bang on target and doing well. He's growing at the right rate, current estimated weight being 5 lbs 4 ozs, and all measurements show as right in the middle of the range. We looked at brain, spine, kidneys, bladder and heart, and everything looks good. Good blood flow from the cord and placenta posterior high. Baby is also head down, as I'd suspected, and in good position. They announced it's just a matter of waiting for him to be ready to leave now, and the Obstetrics clinic don't need to see me again unless something else comes up so they discharged me into midwife care which is what I'd hoped for.

All good news and quite a relief. Now I'm counting down the days left at work (less than a week now!) and entertaining my in-laws who just arrived yesterday.

Tuesday 27 October 2009

Wonky bump

It moved! I'm sure it has. I think Baby has "dropped" or something, my bump feels shape-shifted. It's slightly more curved to the right and I'm wondering if that's his bum. It doesn't seem to be moving so if he's stuck there now I do hope he's head down. I suspect he might be as I'm sure that's feet I can feel in my ribs close to the big curve. We'll see though. I have the growth scan soon and will find out then. How exciting.

Monday 19 October 2009

A stunning comeback

My pregnancy sickness decided to make a sudden re-appearance today. After throwing up for 10 minutes and completely emptying my stomach I smelled vomit afterwards and figured I must have splashed myself so I had to leave early to come home and shower and change. I'm lucky my bosses are supportive. I guess I spoke too soon about forgetting how miserable early pregnancy was, and I needed to be reminded! I've had a couple of restless nights and I suspect that doesn't help. Maybe along with another hormone surge and the fact that my stomach is being squashed and crushed by my growing uterus? Anybody else had this happen to them? I'm 32 weeks now.

I'm also getting some abdominal pain but a quick google tells me that's pretty normal at this stage and is the ligaments being stretched a lot more again. Man, I can't wait to stop work and put my feet up!

Sunday 18 October 2009

A dirty secret about pain relief in labour

We attended our second and final antenatal class, the one that's kind of scary, where we talked about pain relief and intervention. You know, the one that makes you kind of nervous and apprehensive and makes the voices in your head scream "you have to get a BABY out of you!!!"

Anyway, one thing did amuse me somewhat. I was curious to learn about pethidine, as it's one thing I don't know that much about. I learned that it's an opiate, and interestingly, that a lot of hospitals are now replacing it with its relative, diamorphine. Wait a minute. Isn't diamorphine the clinical name for heroin??? So, you spend your whole pregnancy avoiding alcohol and cigarettes and a heap of foods, and then in labour they shoot you up with heroin??? Come on guys, that's pretty funny!

Sunday 11 October 2009

Hi Bob!

Recently I think baby has been both growing rapidly and descending lower. This has caused increasingly frequent panicked dashes to the bathroom crying "Baby on my bladder! Baby on my bladder!", earning our little guy the nickname BoB.

Antenatal class

I didn't really know what to expect from antenatal classes. I was hoping it wouldn't be too scary! I really didn't want to have to watch childbirth videos, nor did I want to do anything too "earth mothery" like sitting in a circle doing breathing exercises and touchy feely sharing. Luckily none of these things were involved. It was a great class. The teacher was very matter of fact and down to earth, offering just the right balance of reality without being too in your face. We were also relieved to find that the other couples (the group was 8 couples in total) were very nice and similar to us. We all ate lunch together and everyone seemed to get along and have plenty to talk about, baby/pregnancy-wise and otherwise. I was recommended NCT classes over hospital run ones for the very reason it is a good way to meet other people who live locally and I would have to agree it's worth the cost.

The class was also very well structured and provoked a lot of interesting and worthwhile discussion, not only as a group and as mums-to-be and dads-to-be, but also amongst ourselves as couples. It's invaluable for dads in my opinion. I mean, mums-to-be naturally get into discussion with other women and generally have access to a lot of information, but for dads that is less available and this class seemed to me a good way for the dads to take all this information on board. I was really impressed with how involved all the men in the group were and how much they wanted to participate. It opened up a lot of discussion for hubby and myself and although he has been supportive from the start I really feel now like he's really there for me and understands it all better.

If there's anyone out there who is considering taking NCT or equivalent antenatal classes I would highly recommend it.

Where is the fourth dimension?

We booked a 4D scan for when I was almost 29 weeks. It had to be done at a private clinic and we deliberated over whether or not we should spend the money but figured it would be a fun thing to do for the first baby. I was a little confused and slightly disturbed by the 4D title though. Physics-defying timelord baby scan?? Weird!

It was cute though. Really weird, the imaging is kind of bizarre and it is a little like watching a slow squirming alien! Add to that a rather weird and twee sonographer who reminded me a little of one of those TV supernanny types, and the whole experience was a little surreal. But fun.

Our boy really isn't cooperative during scans and doesn't seem to like them much. I feel kind of bad that we keep putting him through it if that's true, especially this one which was for fun! Every time we have a scan he seems to want to be left alone to sleep. I guess it looks good for us that he's a good sleeper! He had his hands and arms over his face which he didn't seem to want to move. I had to drink a cup of very sweet hot chocolate and walk around to get him to move and even after that he still had his hands by his face and kept turning away, burying his face into the wall. After some more attempts we went to lunch and came back again. Who knew he would be so shy! We did get a few good moments though. He's quite the comedy baby. He seemed to be folded in half with his feet up by his head and we saw him touching his head with his foot. We also saw him smile, yawn, suck in fluid, rub his face with his fist and got an adorable picture of him sleeping on his arms. The clinic had infinite patience trying to get good images and we came away with a DVD of clips and a CD of several stills. I'd say it was a Saturday morning well spent!

Sugary baby?

The GTT was an interesting experience. As much as lots of sitting around in a waiting room and traumatic blood-taking can be! I am really hard to get blood out of and always end up with more than the necessary number of holes in my arm which are soon swallowed up by a rainbow of bruises. So you can imagine my joy at having to have three done on each hour. Add to that having to drink the Lucozade. I haven't had that stuff since I was a kid, and I can tell you it very definitely hasn't improved since. Especially when served at room temperature in polystyrene cups!

For those who haven't experienced this, you have to fast from midnight the night before, then they take a blood sample from you in the morning. Then you drink some glucose solution or Lucozade, wait an hour and they take another blood sample. Then wait another hour and one more blood sample and that's it.

What amused me about it was how hyper Baby got as soon as I drank the Lucozade. Talk about a sugar rush for the little tyke! Another lady who was sat near me in the waiting room said the same, she was a little freaked out by how much her baby was moving.

I had a midwife appointment that same day and by then they had posted my results on the system. All clear and good. I passed!!

NCT social

Things started to ramp up noticeably as I slid into my third trimester. All of a sudden the calendar seemed to be filling up with baby-related events. Aside from appointments with doctors and midwives and various other medical testing type people more or less every week, NCT events were starting to make an appearance. We got confirmation of our antenatal classes in October and all of a sudden I was getting emails and an invitation to a Yahoo group for local mums-to-be. I am pretty excited about being involved and going to events. I plan to join the "bumps and babies" weekly get-togethers when I start maternity leave (when is that again?!) to meet other mums in my local area.

We went to our first social evening at a local pub. I wasn't totally sure what to expect but it was a good night and we chatted to some nice people. Most if not all the people there seemed to be of similar age and background/lifestyle to us. I wasn't sure how Hubby would feel about it all, I didn't know if I was dragging him there against his will, but he seemed to genuinely enjoy himself and got talking to people. It was something of a relief to feel like the choice to join the NCT was a good one and I started to look forward to meeting more people and attending the get-togethers and classes.

Flu - Pig or Human?

I came down with flu at around week 27. Lovely! I woke up feeling kind of crappy on a Monday morning and thought I was maybe fighting a cold. I came home early from work and by that evening had deteriorated pretty rapidly. The next morning I woke up really sick, I was tired, feverish, achey and also had a bad tummy. I called my GP and they made me a phone appointment with the doctor later in the day because they didn't want me to come into the surgery in case it was swine flu, but recommended that in the meantime I call the National Pandemic Line for a diagnosis.

It was interesting because the Pandemic guys weren't sure, my symptoms were borderline and could have been swine flu but could also have been your run of the mill flu too. But they are pretty cautious with pregnant ladies so they prescribed me Relenza. It was like calling MI5! They had to give me a secret code for the prescription and told me very firmly "Please write this down and repeat it back to me, I can only give it to you once", to which I fought the urge to make a self-destruct joke. Then I was instructed to send my husband to pick it up from an agreed collection point, with his ID and mine. Wow!

Hubs was a little worried about me taking the Relenza. It's what they prescribe to pregnant women instead of Tamiflu as it is inhaled and supposedly safe as it doesn't cross the placenta, at least not in large amounts, but he was concerned about its safety as we really have no way of knowing. I ended up then calling the midwife on duty at the hospital to ask if they had any experience of this and any advice. She was very understanding about my concerns and said if I was that worried I shouldn't take the drug, but to make sure I spoke to my GP about it too because if it was swine flu and I let it go untreated the complications from that can be a much higher risk than the drug. I then talked to the GP who was also very understanding and agreed that I could wait. The main symptom to watch is fever and she said if the fever doesn't get worse in the next day or so then it's either a regular flu or a mild case of swine flu, and even being pregnant I am probably healthy and strong enough to fight it off with enough rest and fluids for at least a week. However, if my fever got worse I should definitely take the Relenza.

It was a happy ending. I didn't get any worse. I stayed home for 10 days and got tons of rest and fluids. The only thing I was suffering from at the end of that was cabin fever!

The layette

I know. It looks like a lot. But I figured it couldn't hurt to cut down on laundry if our boy is kind of pukey or leaky and needs changing a lot. I am so practical!

Doctors with fine tooth combs

I have been attending the Special Obs clinic at my hospital since I started antenatal care, and it seems there's nothing much wrong with me or my pregnancy but they just won't leave me alone! It's great, despite having to attend more appointments to be prodded a lot, I love that they are so thorough and I am grateful for it. It has certainly made me think about people's perceptions of NHS care.

I was originally referred because I am hypermobile and they wanted to check that I didn't have the one form of hypermobility, EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) that can be a problem with pregnancy because it affects the heart. I was sent off to get an ECG and got the all clear from that. After that they wanted to investigate a small trace of protein in my urine, and I got the all clear from that. At that point the consultant felt that perhaps they should just let me get on with my pregnancy since they couldn't find anything to be concerned about with me or with the baby at my 22 week scan, but then they wanted to give me a GTT (Glucose Tolerance Test) because I have a strong family history of diabetes and my BMI is higher than it should be. That came back all clear too and I have been given the all clear to deliver in the birthing centre if that is my choice, but the doctor offered me a growth scan at 34 weeks just to check all is still on track and after that one last follow up appointment he promises they will finally leave me alone if all is still well then. I feel like I'm spending my life in that hospital waiting room, but I shouldn't complain.

Baby consumerism

Is it wrong that one of the reasons I am excited about having a baby is the shopping opportunities? It is by no means the only or even one of the top reasons, but it is definitely present on the list if I had to make a list. As soon as I found out we were having a boy I hit the sales and bought up a load of gorgeous baby blue outfits. Hubby thought it was cute at first but has looked increasingly worried ever since!

For our main baby purchases and certainly all the necessary and functional items (as opposed to the pure fun items like clothes, books and toys!) we are using John Lewis' nursery list consultation service, on recommendation from friends. It really is a great service. I was as excited as a kid in a toy store. Hubby looked slightly overwhelmed at one point, mumbling, "babies need so much stuff..." but in general he was on board and gave good input. He didn't even pass out when we added up the startup costs for a first baby! I love that man!!

Anomoly scan

At 22 weeks I had my anomoly scan to check Baby's progress. Following the great experience we had at the 12 week scan, this one was kind of anti-climactic. The sonographer we had this time wasn't as nice nor as patient and I felt like we rushed through it. She was all business which I guess was fine, as long as she did the checks she was supposed to do I guess that's all we could ask for. I didn't get to see as much because of the position I was lying in. Every time I tried to raise my head to see better she told me to lie back down because it was making my abdominal muscles tense and interfering with the image. We didn't get very good images, and I wasn't sure if that was because I have too much belly fat or if it was because Baby wasn't cooperating. When he first appeared on screen he was sucking his thumb and he seemed to just want to be left alone to sleep after that!

All seemed well and good, and we found out we're having a boy! :)

Another pregnancy landmark

30 August - week 24
Today as we were walking to lunch Hubby looked at me and said, "You're starting to waddle a bit." Great!

Week 20 milestones

Starting around week 18/19 I suspected I was feeling early movements but at that point it was hard to be sure. It was like, is this gas or baby? It was similar to gas or trapped wind but felt a little different. It was kind of like bubbles popping. It was exciting though, and I really wanted to get to the point where I could feel distinct movement and kicks. I think it started to happen around week 20, it was kind of gradual. But the first real kicks were very exciting.

My linea nigra, that mysterious dark line on the belly appeared in week 20 too. It literally just appeared. One minute it wasn't there, next minute it was. Weird.

This week I also had that overnight growth spurt people warned me about. You know, the one where you stand up and find your feet have disappeared! Hubby had left the house by the time I discovered this but when I came home that evening with my nice newly rounded bump I stood behind his computer chair and said hello to him and when he spun around in the chair to greet me he almost hit his face on it! He was all, "Wow! That wasn't there yesterday!". Classic!

I also got carpal tunnel around week 18 and it got worse at around this point. There were a couple of nights where it was really excruciating, painful enough to wake me up in the middle of the night. I had to start wearing wrist supports to bed. Sexy!

Making an honest woman of me

In week 16 of my pregnancy my former boyfriend and fiance of 2 weeks, made me his wife. In all honesty I didn't care about getting married but under parental pressure and for ease of paperwork (for Baby's dual citizenship it is much easier for us to be married) we decided to have a small and quick ceremony before I got too big.

Our friends and colleagues thought we were crazy. We were moving house at that time and it wasn't as if we didn't have enough to do. But I thought it was great, I recommend planning and executing a wedding in 3 weeks, it is much less complicated that way. We booked a date, invited four friends, shopped for rings, had a formal proposal at lunch, and then had a lovely day tying the knot.

Baby wanted to make sure he wasn't forgotten that day though. During our lunch at Gordon Ramsay, I had to make a run to the bathroom and I threw up spectacularly!

The in-laws would like us to have a US wedding next year to have a proper celebration and we agreed to it but let's see if we ever get around to it!

Telling the news

I'm good at keeping secrets, but I don't like it. Those six weeks or so of having to keep news of the pregnancy to myself were like torture! I had one friend who is due the same week who knew, because it was thanks to her I had taken the test in the first place, so at least we had each other to talk to and each other's secret to keep. And I was very thankful for her, she already has a child so she was my oracle for pregnancy advice. I had told a couple of other friends too, because they had either guessed and/or asked outright but keeping it quiet at work when I was feeling so rotten was hard. I told my bosses early on though, so they would know why I was absent from my desk at intervals throughout the day, sometimes having to run away!

We told our parents the evening after the 12 week scan. Hubby's parents live in the US so it was a video Skype call they are unlikely to forget. All grandparents-to-be were thrilled though and reacted the way we expected - "Now will you get married?"

Telling the folks at work was easy. I wasn't sure how to handle it. It's not something I could walk into the office and announce but luckily I have a blabbermouth colleague who already knew and pretty much did the work for me. The standard reaction tends to be squealing and hugging! Hubby said the same. He started telling people at work and he said, there was a lot of screaming, all women seem to react that way!


Meeting the black and white blob

We had our first ultrasound scan at 12 weeks. I don't know about the rest of you who have had this experience but for me this was a huge milestone, the point where it all started to really feel real. It was like, I'm PREGNANT!!! Up until then I knew it, and yeah, I kinda had proof and I had a whole host of symptoms to remind me, but this was real, this was PROOF.

And if it felt that way to me, it was even more so for Hubby. I absolutely recommend every partner attends that first scan, it is essential. The moment the picture of that little blob appeared was unforgettable. The sonographer said, "There's your baby!" and Hubby gasped. I will never forget his face at that moment, I could see it all sinking in and see how happy and proud he was. At that point Baby was only a tiny little bean but it was amazing how much we could see - little arms and legs, spine, brain, little beating heart, etc. Everything looked good and we had all the tests for abnormalities which came back clear so we went away feeling happy, excited and having just had a bonding experience that probably won't be beaten until Baby actually arrives. We also looked forward to announcing our news to our families and friends.

I'm pregnant! Why is it such an anti-climax?

When I saw the doctor to tell him I was pregnant somehow I expected fireworks and party streamers or something. That's how it felt to me, I had just had the biggest and scariest news of my life. But he told me, "I'm sorry but it doesn't really get that exciting for a while. I know you've just had this life changing revelation but it's all a bit anti-climactic and nothing happens for a few weeks." Then he told me to take it easy, eat well, and wait for my letter from the hospital. Hmmm.

Why do they call it morning sickness?

Seriously! Why would you so spectacularly misname something?!! It's morning, noon and night sickness. And I was one of the unlucky ones who had it until something like week 25 of my pregnancy. There has even been a few days since where I've felt the familiar waves but nothing near as bad as it was and by now I'm much less threatened by it.

It's a very weird thing. It started with very unpleasant waves of nausea that started in the morning, peaked at mid morning and mid afternoon and then lasted the rest of the day and night. After the first couple of weeks it built up to retching and dry heaves at the peak times, then in later weeks there would be at least one huge vomit during those times. It slowed down in week 14 and I thought it was finally over, but then made a spectacular reappearance in week 16 (on my wedding day, thank you very much!!), went away in week 18, returned briefly in week 20, then went away and returned in week 22 - you see a pattern right? It was pretty miserable, especially in the early weeks when I felt awful but couldn't really tell anyone why. I learned to manage it. The main trick was not letting myself get hungry. Eat little and often, became my mantra.

I used to be a huge baby about throwing up. Before I was pregnant I could tell you exactly how many times I've thrown up in my life and you could count them on one hand. Throwing up makes me cry. But now, I'm a pro at it!

Saturday 10 October 2009

Where to begin...

Sometimes life hits you with all kinds of surprises. Sometimes you are cruising along enjoying life just as it is and then all kinds of weird stuff starts happening to your body that you can't explain, and then a helpful friend suggests you should take a pregnancy test, and then life is never the same again because of a little pink line that you can barely see. That is how this story began!!